So last night I had a delightful run with Colyte in preparation for today's endoscopy and (gasp) colonoscopy. The latter being news to me upon my arrival to the hospital, I thought it was one or the other. You must take 4 powder packets of Colyte (which is basically like salt and aspartame flavor wise), on every half hour for 2 hours with 500ml of water each time. I couldn't finish the last one, and I had an... entertaining night to put it lightly. Luckily I was so exhausted that falling back asleep in bed after awaking each time was no problem.
This morning Scott (my guardian as necessary) and I headed out to the hospital. It was the first snow of the season. The Floridian that I am, I was pretty excited. Scott less impressed. Pssh. New Yorkers. I reflected on this colonary happenstance, as my first meeting with the doctor was on Thanksgiving. Ah, the colon fairies are wishing me good morrow.
Arrived at the hospital where no one in the endoscopy department spoke much English and called the helpful nurse over from the International clinic to translate the risks of the procedure to me. Let me tell you, risk of heart attack and death seems worse spoken, then the usual skimming of documents. I was going to be sedated and have a camera put down my throat, AND up my bum. A sad state of affairs to be necessary for a fairly healthy living 26 year old, but, c'est la vie.
I changed into a stiff blue gown with a hole in the bum (No no, why would I want buttons or some velcro? Leave it a gaping hole by all means!) and top gown to cover. It was a few minutes of concentrated work to get the crusty draw string to cinch around my waist. The nurse takes me into a room to put the port in a vein on the top of my right hand. I used to have a near phobic fear of needles but after acupuncture, a nose piercing, and 2 tattoo attempts, I've mostly gotten over this. Thankfully, for she failed the first time and left my hand swollen and bruised and had to put the port in my left wrist. She injected meds in me and I went back into the waiting room. I was not told what these meds were.
I began to feel tingly and dizzy, and sat down leaning my head on Scott. I knew the feeling, I was going to black out. A nurse tried to carry me back into the procedure area but I didn't quite make it. I awoke on the floor disoriented, one limb to each of the female nurses crowded around me, and a young kindly male nurse (the chosen English speaker I presumed) was asking me if I was ok. I looked around out of breath like a wild animal, thinking of the oh so many episodes of hospital shows (damn you House) where someone undergoes a routine procedure and all of a sudden they need intubation or defribulation or who knows what. But no I was fine. They lifted me onto a bed and wheeled me into a curtained off area and let me rest a little before the procedure. I lay there, calming myself and began to laugh a bit at the whole scene. Apparently I had a reaction to the meds that were to stop my bowel movements. Maybe my body knows its not supposed to be doing that.
Later I was wheeled in for the procedure and luckily was passed out for the entire ordeal. Like it didn't even happen. I got to rest again on the bed a while and feel just about as calm as can be. Mmm. Sedatives.
After that I was scheduled for a precautionary mammogram of my own accord. I several times had to explain why. "You are so young." "Yes well, a good friend of mine got breast cancer this young and died so... I'm gunna just be safe here." Nods of understanding.
This mammogram was set for 2 weeks, I was taken to prepay for it at the front registration desk. After I had paid and returned to the mammogram center, I was informed I was 10 years too young for the procedure, young breasts are too dense. No big deal, you can get a sonogram instead, and swap the cost after. Sweet. Sonogram was fast and easy, super nice English speaking woman who said I had nothing to worry about, no lumps. All is well. (I must admit the sonogram felt pretty awesome.)
My grand total for the day was around 450 bucks and I was shocked at the price. I got so spoiled by how cheap medical is in Korea with insurance that I forgot to factor in that I had undergone some major procedures today. But still, something didn't seem right. The mammogram that got refunded was supposed to be 30 bucks, I assumed the sonogram to be about the same. But it was a whopping 200.
I nearly began to cry. The same International Clinic nurse was helping me at that time and I went on a rant about how I felt tricked into it. They wouldn't let me have the procedure that was 30 bucks, and didn't inform me that the alternative procedure was many times that cost. That seemed unfair. I reiterated this several times. (At this point it was around 3 pm, several hours after I should have been done, I'd eaten nothing all day, and very little the previous 4 days, I was NOT in the mood to be duped). Eventually she offered to cancel it, even though it was already done. They did it with no bureaucracy, no getting of a manager. Just like that, 200 bucks erased from my bill. Free sonogram for this girl.
I left thankful and confused. The results, my insides look fine. The doc said he thinks I have a low threshold... for what I said? He said pain. I wanted to smack him. Again he told me he thinks I have IBS (as he already concluded after 5 minutes of talking to me on our first meeting). Again I think he's an idiot. I have a sonogram scheduled for them to look at my gallbladder on Tuesday (apparently no one could do it today), which is what I thought it was in the first place. But I guess at least I have piece of mind now. No cancer, no leaky gut, no ulcers. I'm sure the cleanse didn't hurt either. Though they are going to look further and talk with me more about the results in a week or so, it will probably be the same information.
Mmm. Pizza time.
